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Self-criticism and what to do about it

Self-criticism and what to do about it by Dr. Munn Saechao, PsyD, LCSW, MSW, PPSC, online therapist and coach for professional women and child and adolescent therapist in Mountain View, CA.

Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences for survival. When we have salient recollections of things and situations that have caused us harm, we instinctually avoid them in the future. While this instinct historically and presently benefits us, it can also cause us harm. 

For example, when I received a glowing recommendation or evaluation in the past, I found myself scanning for areas of growth, hyper focusing on the words, and completely neglecting my strengths (Yes, you see here that I’ve replaced criticism to area of growth). While scrutinizing my flaws allowed me to excel, I often felt terrible because I was striving for perfectionism, which ultimately was an unobtainable goal. In other words, I set myself up to always feel disappointed and feel like a failure. In the end, the only person who was hurting was me.

The good news is, our brains are “plastic” and we can do things in this very moment to counter our unhelpful thought patterns and change our future.

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How we influence and build our self-esteem

How we influence and build our self-esteem by Dr. Munn Saechao, PsyD, LCSW, PPSC, online therapist and coach for professional women and child and adolescent therapist in Mountain View, CA.

The mind is interesting and complex. Many times our mind wonder to that of tasks we must complete, to events that have occurred in the past. Then there are times our mind wonders and fixates on unproductive and unhealthy concepts about who we are, our worth, and our value. When we attend to the areas that we are not satisfied with, and magnify them in our mind by hyper focusing on them, we only harm ourselves and feed into a distorted image of we feel we are.

Therefore, we have to actively and consciously tell ourselves that we are “loved, valued, intelligent, strong, and beautiful.” There is inherent power in our words. How will you choose to empower yourself today? I would love to hear from you.

Did you like this message? Then follow my page for more encouragement and head over to my website, drmunn.com to learn more. Thanks in advance for reading this!

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Email: dr.munn.saechao@gmail.com

Getting to the top even when it hurts by Dr. Munn, online therapist & coach

Self-care is about tuning into your body, mind and spirit, and my spirit desired to get to the top.

Getting to the top even when it hurts by Dr. Munn, Child & Adolescent therapist in Mountain View, CA|Online Therapist & Coach for Women|Treating ADHD, Anxiety, Depression & High Functioning Autism

Everyone desires to get to the top, but not every one reaches it. I had a mother and sisters who modeled for me to never give up, even when it was hard, even when it was painful, even if it meant crawling to get to the top.

Turning back was an option, in fact, it was always an option, but the curiosity to see what’s at the top, and the desire to accomplish the goal, and the lesson my mother and sisters taught me about perseverance, surpassed the urge to turn back.

Set your mind on the end goal; encourage yourself; acknowledge the pain; and keep moving forward. Self-care is about tuning into your body, mind and spirit, and my spirit desired to get to the top. If you need support with enhancing your self-care, consider seeking a therapist or contact me to book a free consultation.

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Disclaimer: The content in this post is only intended to increase your knowledge on self-care; it is not online therapy. If you’re concerned about your immediate safety, please call 911 and consult with a licensed therapist about any clinical symptoms you are observing.

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How to calm your child by Dr. Munn, child & adolescent therapist

How to calm your child by Dr. Munn, Child & Adolescent Therapist in Mountain View, CA & Online Therapist & Coach for Women with ADHD, Anxiety & Depression.

When children and teens are having a meltdown, their amygdala, which is responsible for quickly processing and expressing emotions, and part of the “downstairs” brain, is activated, making it hard to self-soothe, think rationally, and make good decisions.
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One of the things we can do to calm our children and teens is to “name the emotion.” When we label the emotion (e.g., you’re really angry right now now; you’re really disappointed right now), an area responsible for labeling and processing the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex, gets activated and helps soothe the “downstairs” brain, causing the child to down-regulate and think more rationally.
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Thus, if you notice your child or teen getting overwhelmed, help them regulate by “naming” the emotion. If your child experiences persistent meltdowns and has a hard time self-soothing, seek a child & adolescent therapist.
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Disclaimer: The content in this post is only intended to increase your knowledge on parenting and child development; it is not online therapy. If you’re concerned about your child’s immediate safety please call 911 and consult with a licensed clinician about any clinical symptoms you are observing in your child.

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Children Need Boundaries to Control Emotions by Dr. Munn, child & adolescent therapist

Children Need Boundaries to Control Emotions by Dr. Munn, Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist in Mountain View, CA & Online Psychotherapist & Coach for Women with ADHD, High Functioning Autism, Anxiety & Depression.

Since young children do not yet have the ability to control their big feelings and body, setting limits for children will help them to develop their prefrontal cortex, also known as the “upstairs brain, “which is responsible for emotional regulation, good judgment, problem solving, and inhibition, to name a few.

When we set limits that are concise, clear and consistent, we are developing our children’s prefrontal cortex. By helping our children to understand the rules and limits of our social and cultural environment, we are developing their consciousness and moral compass.

While it may be hard to set limits because we want our children to be happy and receive the desires of their heart, it’s our responsibility as adults and caregivers to help our children to become empathic, morally sound, and productive members of society. One of the ways we can do this is to set limits that are developmentally appropriate, consistent, clear, and concise. Your interactions have a significant impact over your children’s personality development and the people they’ll become as they get older. Knowing this, will you choose to impact them today?

If you need support with setting limits and boundaries, seek a child & adolescent therapist.

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Disclaimer: The content in this post is only intended to increase your knowledge on parenting and child development; it is not online therapy. If you’re concerned about your child’s immediate safety please call 911 and consult with a licensed clinician about any clinical symptoms you are observing in your child.

Self-care: Running by Dr. Munn

Self-care: Running by Dr. Munn|Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist in Mountain View, CA|Online Therapist & Coach for Women|Treating ADHD, Anxiety, Depression & High Functioning Autism

I woke up this morning thinking that I wasn’t going to run because of all the things I had to accomplish today. Quite honestly, I wasn’t in the mood and I didn’t have the motivation or energy. I had a challenging week and decided to take the day off from exercising. However, at 7:30pm I decided to go on a run.⠀

Sometimes we do do things not because we want to, but because it’s good for us. When things get harder at work or at home for example, that’s when we have to be more intentional about taking care of ourselves. Truthfully, I’m a better person, friend and therapist because I run. I reminded myself of this today! And although I may look a bit tired here, I’m so glad I went on this run!! 🏃🏻‍♀️⠀

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Self Care Tip: Spending Time with Friends by Dr. Munn

Self Care Tip: Spending Time with Friends by Dr. Munn, Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist in Mountain View, CA & Online Psychotherapist & Coach for Women with ADHD, High Functioning Autism, Anxiety & Depression.

One of my favorite self-care activities is to spend time with friends and celebrate life. There’s nothing like being in a room full of beautiful, intelligent psychologists and psychotherapists! Everyone is so warm, caring, and personable! Today, we celebrated my friend’s baby at her “baby sprinkle.” I recently learned that “sprinkle” is a term used for second pregnancies and more! Had no idea! 😄

This morning, we laughed, connected, and ate delicious gluten free donuts and french fries in a lovely setting! I feel honored that this beautiful woman, amazing mother, and lovely human being, Renata, aka Dr. Way is in my life!  I look forward to many more experiences together and I’m so excited to meet this baby!

Who are you grateful for today? I would love to hear from you!

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When Children are Struggling to Calm Down by Dr. Munn

When Children are Struggling to Calm Down by Dr. Munn Saechao, Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist in Mountain View, CA & Online Psychotherapist and Coach for Women with Adhd, Autism, Anxiety & Depression.

When children feel angry, rejected, shamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, or dysregulated in any way, they need us to be there for them; in other words, they need us to connect.

Connection might mean a hug, a soft touch, a soft look, or validation of their emotions. When we connect and soothe our children, they regain control.

Connection is key to emotional regulation, particularly for young children who have very limited capacity to modulate their emotions and behaviors.

Once children are in calm state, the next step is to ask yourself this, “Is my child ready to hear me; ready to learn; ready to comprehend?” If the question is no, more connection is needed. If it’s yes, teach the lesson.

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Email: dr.munn.saechao@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The content in this post is only intended to increase your knowledge on parenting and child development; it is not online therapy. If you’re concerned about your child’s immediate safety please call 911 and consult with a licensed clinician about any clinical symptoms you are experiencing.

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What Children & Adolescents Need When Having a Meltdown

What Children & Adolescents Need When Having a Meltdown by Dr. Munn, online therapist and coach for professional women with ADHD, anxiety and depression and child and adolescent therapist in Mountain View, CA

Often times, parents are perplexed at why their overall responsible and mature child or adolescent has a meltdown. Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on our experience. Our ability to regulate our emotions will fluctuate based upon a lot of factors, such as sleep, diet, workday stress, etc. Thus, it’s unreasonable to expect an adolescent to always have it together.⠀

When our children are struggling to control their emotions, they need our connection and our calming presence. I realize that the modern parent has an extensive daily checklist, yet when we are intentional about slowing down long enough to attend to their emotions and behaviors in the moment, they will feel seen, validated, and loved by us.⠀

And when I mean attend, I don’t mean, lecturing and asking them, “why are you having a meltdown (when they’re in it)? I told you so…” These statements and questions are often not effective and escalate the situation.

Instead, maintain a calm presence, acknowledge their feelings and provide them with words of affirmation. When they are calmer, they will be able to receive and take in what you have to say. ⠀

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Email: dr.munn.saechao@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The content in this post is only intended to increase your knowledge on parenting and child development; it is not online therapy. If you’re concerned about your child’s immediate safety please call 911 and consult with a licensed clinician about any clinical symptoms you are experiencing.⠀

It’s my birthday and it’s time to celebrate!

It’s my birthday and it’s time to celebrate! by Dr. Munn, online therapist and coach for professional women, and child & adolescent psychotherapist in Mountain View, CA

t’s August 1st and it’s my birthday!!! I used to think that birthday celebrations were so overrated but now I love celebrating my birthday because of it’s symbolism! Birthdays are a wonderful time to slow down, reflect, and consider areas of growth, accomplishments, and aspirations. 2018 was an amazing yet incredibly difficult year, but 2019 is something else! I feel so grateful for the opportunities that have come my way and I’m excited for the journey ahead! I’m also thrilled for today’s festivities! I think I’m going to celebrate my birthday for the whole month. I mean, why not?! What do you like doing on your birthday?! I need ideas… 😊

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Mindfulness by Dr. Munn

Mindfulness by Dr. Munn, online therapist and coach for professional women, and child & adolescent psychotherapist in Mountain View, CA

Mindfulness is the state of being present with the mind, body and spirit.

Nature allows me to slow down and disconnect from the stressors and demands of daily living. In fact, I find the need to be in nature at least once a week. Of course it takes time and effort, but the pay off and gains are great!

My mood is better, I’m burning fat (I know why you’re thinking, what is she talking about?), my mind slows down and my thoughts get clearer; in fact, my most creative thoughts will often come when I’m running or hiking; I get vitamin D, and a little tan while I’m at it (with sunscreen on of course)! These are several reasons for why I hike in nature! 

How about you? Why do you hike or walk in nature? Please share. 

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Webpage: drmunn.com, https://drmunn.com/category/self-care
Email: dr.munn.saechao@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The content in this post is only intended to increase your knowledge on parenting and child development; it is not online therapy. If you’re concerned about your child’s immediate safety please call 911 and consult with a licensed clinician about any clinical symptoms you are experiencing.

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Self-care Tip by Dr. Munn, online therapist & coach

Self-care Tip by Dr. Munn, online therapist and coach for professional women with ADHD, anxiety & depression, and child & adolescent psychotherapist in Mountain View, CA

I love being near water. I have a visceral reaction when I see a lake, a river, or the ocean. My eyes light up, I start to smile, I become very present to the experience, and I suddenly notice a positive shift in my mood. One of ways we can improve mood is by being outdoors. I often encourage patients to get out more and move around to improve their overall physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Today, my hope is that you get out and enjoy all that nature has to offer!

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