Self-Criticism and What to do

Grit Mindset Therapy | Clinical Psychologist Specializing in ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression in Mountain View, CA | Munn Saechao, PsyD, LCSW, PPSC

Remembering Negative Experiences

Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences for survival. Understanding your nervous system can help explain why your brain may get stuck scanning for threats, mistakes, or signs that something is wrong. When we have salient recollections of things and situations that have caused us harm, we instinctually avoid them in the future. While this instinct historically and presently benefits us, it can also cause us harm. 

The Impact of Self-Criticism

For example, when I received a glowing recommendation or evaluation in the past, I found myself scanning for areas of growth, hyper focusing on the words, and completely neglecting my strengths (Yes, you see here that I’ve replaced criticism to area of growth). While scrutinizing my flaws allowed me to excel, I often felt terrible because I was striving for perfectionism, which ultimately was an unobtainable goal. In other words, I set myself up to always feel disappointed and feel like a failure. In the end, the only person who was hurting was me. I learned that self-esteem development often begins with learning how to recognize strengths, tolerate mistakes, and build a kinder internal voice over time. If self-criticism leaves you feeling overwhelmed, it can help to start with one small grounding step instead of trying to fix every thought at once.

Brain Pasticity

The good news is, our brains are “plastic” and we can do things in this very moment to counter our unhelpful thought patterns and change our future. A simple self-care tip is to pause, notice the critical thought, and respond to yourself with the same compassion you might offer someone you care about. For adults who feel stuck in perfectionism, anxiety, burnout, or self-criticism, adult therapy can provide support for understanding patterns and building healthier coping skills.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What does emotional resilience look like in everyday life? Emotional resilience often looks like pausing, naming what you feel, asking for support, and taking one small step when life feels hard.

Can therapy help me become more emotionally resilient? Yes. Therapy can help you understand patterns, practice coping skills, and build steadier ways to respond to stress, anxiety, and burnout.

Disclaimer: This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care. If you are experiencing distress or need help, please consult with a licensed clinician, go to your nearest emergency room, or call emergency services.

Grit Mindset Therapy | Clinical Psychologist Specializing in ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression in Mountain View, CA | Munn Saechao, PsyD, LCSW, PPSC

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