What Children & Adolescents Need When Having a Meltdown

Grit Mindset Therapy | Clinical Psychologist Specializing in ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression in Mountain View, CA | Munn Saechao, PsyD, LCSW, PPSC

Often times, parents are perplexed at why their overall responsible and mature child or adolescent has a meltdown. Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on our experience. Our ability to regulate our emotions will fluctuate based upon a lot of factors, such as sleep, diet, workday stress, etc. When stress comes from academics, sports, or expectations, reducing performance anxiety can help children and adolescents feel less overwhelmed and more supported. Thus, it’s unreasonable to expect an adolescent to always have it together.⠀For teens who are struggling with emotional regulation, anxiety, stress, or frequent meltdowns, teen therapy can provide support with coping skills and communication.

When our children are struggling to control their emotions, they need our connection and our calming presence. Cultivating a growth mindset in children and teens can help them learn that big emotions and hard moments are opportunities to practice coping, repair, and try again. I realize that the modern parent has an extensive daily checklist, yet when we are intentional about slowing down long enough to attend to their emotions and behaviors in the moment, they will feel seen, validated, and loved by us.⠀

And when I mean attend, I don’t mean, lecturing and asking them, “why are you having a meltdown (when they’re in it)? I told you so…” These statements and questions are often not effective and escalate the situation.

Instead, maintain a calm presence, acknowledge their feelings and provide them with words of affirmation. When they are calmer, they will be able to receive and take in what you have to say. This calmer moment is also a good time to promote a growth mindset by helping them reflect on what happened, what they need, and what they can try next time.Asking growth mindset questions can guide children and teens toward problem-solving without shame or criticism.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How can parents help kids calm down during big emotions?

Parents can help by staying regulated, naming the feeling, reducing demands, and guiding children toward simple coping skills they can practice over time.

When should I seek support for my child’s meltdowns or anxiety?

Support may help when meltdowns, anxiety, or emotional outbursts happen often, disrupt daily life, or leave the family feeling stuck.

Disclaimer: This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care. If you are experiencing distress or need help, please consult with a licensed clinician, go to your nearest emergency room, or call emergency services.

Grit Mindset Therapy | Clinical Psychologist Specializing in ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression in Mountain View, CA | Munn Saechao, PsyD, LCSW, PPSC

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